Six Word Saturday

Last minute shopping should be interesting.

It's a good thing I've been shopping like a jack rabbit on speed for the past week or so because this morning when I woke up, a winter snow storm was well under way. For those of us in my area who were planning on a delightful day of pushing through crowds and driving around at the mall for an hour to find a space, shopping may just have to wait until lunch hours next week.

Wishcasting Wednesday...what do you wish to give?

You would think that, because there are only 9 days remaining until Christmas, I would be focusing on the giving of gifts to my loved ones. Trust me, I've been doing my part in the past week to help stimulate the economy. But what I really want to give are things that can't be purchased. There are a number of emotional/spiritual gifts that I want to give but what comes first to my mind is this:

I want to give of my time and talent to the devotion of helping my son with his Aspergers. Even though he's come so far, I realize that there is so much more I can do to help teach him even more. In the past, I was so inundated with the every day stresses of a crappy marriage and then being a single mom that I just didn't find myself with an abundance of emotional energy to give more to my son in the ways that really count. But I'm in a position now where the tides have changed and my life is so much MORE. So my intent is to start getting much more involved and proactive with Aspergers. Everything from finding groups to writing to helping my son find his inner strength so that he can thrive as an adult.

Six Word Saturday

The gift this season is love.

This time last year, we were getting our household ready for Christmas. We had just moved in together 2 months prior. We were engaged but had no concrete plans for a wedding date. A month later we finally settled on a date and got married in March of this year. I still pinch myself daily. Yesterday, as I got underway with my holiday shopping, I knew that my greatest gift this year is my husband. No other presents needed. The man simply rocks and has changed my world in the most amazing ways. Thank you God for the gift of love.

Wishcasting Wednesday: what is your spirit wishing for?

I could go in a hundred directions with today's prompt. Simply stated, my spirit wants to be free and content. For the past few months my spirit has felt weighed down with concerns about job, money and my relationship with my daughter. Last night we had another "incident" with her. To top it off, the day just had a strange vibe to it. I found myself "running away" to the bathtub wishing that my spirit was light and unfettered. Wishing that I could be totally free from the tension and concerns that pile on me daily. Even through some very challenging times, I have always been able to seek the beauty around me; my spirit needs to get back there.

There are less than 3 weeks until Christmas and I can't seem to find my Christmas spirit. This morning I found myself thinking about the true meaning of Christmas. We're supposed to be celebrating the birth of Jesus and yet, our society has turned it in to another opportunity to stimulate the economy. When I was a girl, we honored the true celebration much more than I do as an adult with my own children. We went to church. We had manger scenes all over the house. Things were different. My own children don't go to church and I'm fairly sure they don't give a rat's ass about God. They have no clue that God has blessed us beyond our imaginations. Their arrogance zaps my spirit to the core. It saddens me that my children only see the commercialized meaning of the holiday. So this year, with or without them, I intend to honor my spirit by honoring God and trying to incorporate the true meaning of Christmas as I venture out to buy the gifts.

tuesday

It's one of those quiet days around here. Usually time flies by so quickly I hardly knew where it went. But some days, like today, the house is too quiet and it hits me how much I miss being around people. If I'm ever blessed to earn my living from working at home, I know that I'll have to schedule some time to get out in to my community, get some fresh air and converse with people. Today, I'm going to make the best of a quiet day by:

Job hunting
Baking some delicious holiday sweets
Making Breen's granola
Finishing laundry
Making a fire and enjoying some afternoon coffee
Possibly getting a chair primed for a new project
Moving some furniture around to make room for a Christmas tree

Monday morning and the moments continue...

It's Monday morning once again and I've much to do today. Here's something frightening: there are 18 days until Christmas. We've purchased one present so far and we don't have a tree yet. I'm not sure why the holidays have come and gone so quickly this year. I'm not sure where my holiday spirit went either. But it will return, of that I'm sure. I'm going to plan some holiday baking soon with my mother; so many cookies, so little time!

Here's another thing that has been happening to me these days: the revelations about myself have been coming quickly like rapid fire. Honestly, I haven't even asked for any of this but I suppose God feels like it's his duty to inform me. It seems that my time of unemployment has provided a wonderful opportunity to get my undivided attention. So this weekend, something relatively awkward was said that hurt my feelings. Needless to say, I brooded about it for an entire day. But this morning it hit me that I wasn't necessarily upset about what was said, I was upset about how it made me feel. I realized that there is a pattern since childhood where I have allowed myself to believe that I am somewhat second best to everyone else. Furthermore, it hit me that I don't have to accept that anymore. There is one strong, kick ass, one-in-a-million, hot woman just beneath my skin waiting to come out and claim her rightful place in this world. I don't need to be second best anymore; I need to be the mother fucking queen. So today, I am firmly placing my flag in the soil and claiming all that is mine. Well, I might not get there overnight but at least I've got my horse pointed in the right direction. And if God wants to keep screaming the messages in my ear, I say, "BRING IT ON, PADRE!"

Librarian fantasy and a few of my favorite chairs

Yesterday I had a few minutes to spare before arriving at my friend Lois's house for meditation. So I stopped at the library down the street from her; one that I have never been in for the nearly 15 years that I've lived here. It was such a cozy and quaint little library. Of course I came out with 3 more books in hand. As I stood there taking in the smells of the books and the interesting people browsing the selections, I had this fantasy that, if money were no object, I'd love to be a librarian. I certainly don't fit the stereotype of the plain, mousy librarian. If anything, all those wonderful book geeks would smile to see an artsy gal stamping books out at the counter :)) Seriously, I love being around books and people. I could imagine myself running the children's story hours. Years ago, I bought one of my kids a blank set of library cards for one of their Christmas presents. Okay, I bought the date stamp too. I definitely got more out of that gift than they did. I made pockets in the backs of my books. It was a little slice of heaven :)

But the real treat yesterday was going in to the city to have lunch with my friend Lucinda, her daughter and her granddaughter. Lucinda is married to David. I've known them for nearly 25 years. We used to rent their cabin every summer in New Hampshire. David is talented beyond words with design and building. Over the years, he has been my supplier of numerous pieces of old furniture that he has found or trash picked. He lets me come and use his tools and workspace. He and Lucinda live in a loft unit in a 33,000 square foot warehouse that he has renovated in to several artist's loft/living spaces. Yesterday I had to pick up some of my hand painted furniture that he has stored and shown there. I bought home several:




I had always envisioned having unique dining room chairs around my table. Yesterday, my vision was fulfilled. I think they look awesome. Breen gets the Helen chair with the crown. Max gets the "coffee" chair because he loves coffee so much. Kendall gets the "freedom tattoo" chair because she just happens to be the rebel bad-ass in the family. I get the "Give peas a chance" chair because I hated peas (and still do) and used to put them in the bottom of my milk when my parents weren't looking.